Most women have been taught since childhood to be "good little girls", "behave like a lady", and "grin and bear it”. Remember hearing the saying "little girls are made of sugar and spice, and all things nice"?
Forwarding to the 21st
century, where women are allowed to be tough, to say NO, to speak their mind,
to become CEO's, and to enjoy sex. Women have become more assertive, and in
tune to their needs, wants and desires.
Some men like the fact
that women are able to "talk the talk" and "walk the
walk" while others feel intimidated by it. Without a doubt, this
change has had a great impact on relationships between men and women,
specifically the actions and behaviors of women.
According to 2012 statistics from
the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 14% of married women have cheated
compared to 22% of married men. Although women are not exceeding men in cheating, women are
having emotional affairs and sex behind
their man's back. However, when a woman
cheats, she is usually cheating for emotional intimacy while a man usually
cheats for physical pleasure.
Women are still emotionally invested in their relationships. Women want to
feel desired, wanted and irresistible.
It's quite phenomenal how far women have come in this world, from women's lib,
entering the workforce, becoming professionals, breadwinners of the family, and
now getting their needs met; even if it
means cheating. Now get ready to see what
I reveal about why women cheat.
Reason 1. Lack of attention and intimacy:
How long can you go
without receiving love and attention before you look somewhere else? Some can
go for only days or weeks, and others can go for years. However, in general,
women need and desire intimacy, physical touch, and mental and emotional attention.
If you are not receiving
this from your husband or boyfriend, it will only be a matter of time and you
may seek it from another i.e. a caring guy friend, the attentive guy who feeds
your emotional needs at your workplace, or the hot trainer at the gym. Women
deprived of attention, compliments, and compassion; usually have emotional
affairs. That doesn't mean it won't lead to sex, but initially they crave the
attention and compassion that has been absent from their relationship.
Reason 2. Revenge:
Being cheated on is a very difficult act
to forgive. For those of you who have been
cheated on, you know how awful it feels. You feel deceived, hurt, angry, sad,
numb and even violated. It also affects your self-esteem. At the moment, you
find out your man cheated, your whole body begins to shake, you begin to sweat,
your stomach drops, and you feel nauseated.
Communication, assertiveness and increasing passion and romance in
your relationship are a much better solution to relationship problems.
Reason 3. Financial independence:
When you feel
financially dependent on your husband or boyfriend, it's more difficult to
speak up in arguments or leave the relationship. The fear of being alone and
financially unstable keeps you in a one-down position. Now that women make
their own money, enjoy working, and are good at it, the need to stay in an
unhappy relationship is not necessary. That feeling of power and independence
can be like seeing the red carpet laid out for you; all the way to those other
fish in the sea.
Reason 4. Low self-esteem:
When you feel insecure
about yourself, you have a need to seek validation from others. This can be in
the form of sexual, emotional, or intellectual attention. When you don't
love or value yourself, you may project that onto the person you are in a
relationship with, and believe they don't love or value you. Even if your
husband or boyfriend loves you greatly, you still may cheat because you find it
hard to accept their unconditional love.
Reason 5. Feeling under-appreciated:
When you are in a
relationship, you like to please your man. Cooking a romantic dinner, buying
sexy lingerie, and listening with your heart, are just a few ways you may show
your love and appreciation. So what happens when you don't hear "thank
you, please or I love you”. Holidays and birthdays come and you don't receive
anything meaningful, nothing at all, not even a verbal acknowledgment. We all
have thresholds, and once yours is reached, you may decide to act on a
"thank you, please, or I love you" coming from another direction. Let
your man know he may lose you if he continues to take you for granted.
Reason 6. Bored:
He doesn't spray on that
good smelling cologne anymore his clothing is wrinkled, stained or way out-of-date.
When he comes home from work (assuming he has a job), it's the same old thing;
"what's for dinner"? When the weekend comes, he says he's tired and
just wants to relax at home, or go out to the same sports bar you go every
weekend.
The routine is the same
over and over again. You are no longer on the same page. You barely have
anything in common. You are feeling emotionally distant from him. You find
yourself looking at other prospects and fantasize about being with someone
else. You begin to feel excited (something you haven't felt in
"forever") just thinking about it.
There are many ways to
spice up an old, tired relationship. Boredom is something that can be resolved
with a little, or sometimes a moderate amount of effort. It requires both of
you introducing new ideas and behaviors, and some spontaneity. Be sure of
what you want.
Source: Divorcedmom
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