Life is full of ups and downs. Sometimes you cry sometimes
you laugh like you never cried before. We encounter difficult times that may
challenge us to endure, yet not ignore, the feelings and thoughts that linger.
This may drain us of our energy, our peace, our time, our resources, our
health, and sometimes relationships or opportunities. We may get overwhelmed
and lose focus, optimism, or peace. This is when we truly have to maintain our
calm for the sake of our health, peace, and well being.
Know that difficult times are not forever and you can
overcome! We may get stuck in the moment and
allow the difficult circumstance to not just overwhelm us, yet takeover us.
When you are in the moment take a moment to remind yourself that this too shall
pass. It is not permanent, it is a difficult time and time passes on. Take a
moment to look at a clock or watch. Note the time and say what the difficult
situation is in a short sentence. Close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
Look at the clock or watch and realize that time has passed and the difficult
time will also pass.
Take responsibility and accept challenge. Where we
are, how we are, are the results of decisions we made and choices we made.
Accept responsibility that this difficult time exists because... and fill in
the blank. Then, take ownership and allow yourself to empower yourself to move
beyond this point. For example, the deadline to submit my work is near and
there does not seem to be enough time to complete everything. I am responsible
for this race against the clock because I waited until the last minute or I put
other things before this work. I take ownership for a decision that was not
great and have the power to change this situation by completing and submitting
the work and rewarding myself after.
Assess, address, and act now.
Take a calm look at the difficult situation as a puzzle with individual parts.
Identify each part and assess whether every one has to be managed right now or
should you manage pieces at a time. Address the situation by looking at each
piece and decide what you will take care of right now, later in the day,
tomorrow, or next week. Set firm dates and times for each piece of the
situation and then act on it immediately. Even if you simply write down all of
the parts, what you will do when, and how you will do it. Just do something now.
Here's an example... I am in a meeting and someone asks me a question. I begin
to answer and then immediately regret what I said. For a moment I am furious
with myself and feel the tension rising behind clenched teeth. I look down and
take three deep breathes. I assess the impact by considering who heard the
response and what they might say or do. I address the issue and simply say
"you know, I want to change my answer. What I really meant is ..."
After that I act now to determine how I will manage this if it happens again.
Next time I will take three deep breathes and then respond as I remain calm.
Forgive, free-up, and have foresight.
Difficult times can steal our joy, our peace, our strength, and our optimism.
When you are dealing with a difficult situation, forgive yourself and as
applicable forgive the other person(s). When we harbor bitterness or guilt or
anger it hurts us more than anyone. Forgive yourself for the choice that may
have placed you here and then free-up that space within you to make room for
positive energy. Free your arms to just swing and your lungs to take deep
breaths. Give yourself permission to be calm and smile to yourself. Then commit
to having the foresight to identify what you could do or say differently to
minimize the chances of the difficult situation recurring.
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