Love is expressed as an action and
experienced as a feeling. Yet, love has an essence that resists definition in
any single way: it encompasses compassion, determination, endurance, support,
faith, and much more. Everyone is capable of love, and there is seemingly no
limit to the amount of love you can give or receive. If you struggle to express
or receive love, there are ways to help you open to love.
Don’t expect perfection. Don’t expect perfection in the person you love or in
yourself. This sets incredibly unrealistic expectations. Neither of you will be
able to live up to these standards and you both will end up hurt and
disappointed. Take it easy on yourself and your partner, and expect mistakes to
happen.
Apply learned lessons to your
relationships. Yes, bad things will
happen in your relationships. You’ll say the wrong thing, or your partner will
hurt your feelings. It happens. The important part, when anything goes wrong
(even if it’s just problems in your life), is to learn your lessons and keep
moving forward. Try to make the most of any negative situation, turning it into
something positive by gaining and growing from the experience. Honestly try to
see your significant other's point of view in any argument that gets fairly
serious.
- If you're in the wrong, apologize and own up to your mistake. Good relationships air out the grievances and clear the air.
Reconcile your differences. It’s hard to feel love toward someone when you’re really
mad or upset at your partner. Whether you and your partner become volatile or
avoid fights, there’s actually no measured differences in couple happiness. The
important part is finding happiness together after the fight.
- Be aware that there's always the opportunity for reconciliation. Whether you have volatile screaming matches or you sit down together to compromise before things get too heated, almost every style of conflict allows for some form of reconciliation. No matter how you and your partner fight, make sure you are, in the end, both feeling heard and able to come to some kind of agreement.
Balance your negative and positive
feelings toward each other. Balance is important
in creating a happy and loving relationship. Research shows that in relation to
stability over time, the magic ratio for positive and negative interactions in
relationships is five to one, or five positive interactions for every one
negative interaction. When you recognize a negative action toward your partner,
do your best to provide positive interactions to restore a sense of balance.
- Positive interactions include physical intimacy such as touching, smiling, and laughing.
