Focus on what you can control. You can plan out your whole day ahead of time to go as smoothly and successfully as possible, but get a flat tire on the way to work that throws off your whole schedule. Adapting to changes like this and keeping your focus on how to alter your schedule can help you remain positive and mindful the rest of your day instead of feeling resentful or helpless. Learn how to tell the difference between what you can and cannot control to help you move forward with your life.
- Remember that you cannot control what other people do, but you have complete control over how you react to everything around you. Your emotions are solely your responsibility.
- Reflect on things that contributed to your current position. What could you have done differently then? Can you use this experience to apply such lessons to your future behaviors and actions to make sure you don’t repeat yourself?
Decide what you want for yourself in
the future. Since you have been able to fully
assess and accept your current situation and what you don’t like about it, as
well as how your actions contributed to creating it, you can now decide how you
want your life to be different in the future. Think of a general goal and then
come up with a definite smaller goal that will help you get there.
- Do you want to find a new job, lose a healthy amount of weight, learn to better handle your finances, or develop stronger and healthier relationship skills?
- If you want a new job, do you need more training or education? Do you need to start practicing for interviews and hiring a resume consultant? Will you start spending an hour every morning looking through want-ads?
- If your goal is to lose weight, start with a specific goal, like fitting into those pants you love and haven’t been able to wear in two years. How much lost weight will it take to get into those pants again?
- Avoid non-specific goals like, “I want to be thin” or long-term ones like “I need to lose 100 lbs.” Focus on specific goals you can obtain in the near future, such as “I will walk for 30 minutes every day this week.”
Make a plan for reaching your goal. Include steps you will take to get there, how you plan to
recognize and change negative thought patterns as they come up, and what you
will do if you hit a stumbling block. Break your goal into small steps that you
can accomplish one at a time to build your confidence and self-worth as you go.
- For example, if your goal is to stick to your budget for the next 30 days, then identify ways that you can do that. You might plan to make a grocery list and stick to it. Or, to cut out spending on extras such as entertainment.
- You might also plan for potential obstacles, such as an unexpected bill. Perhaps there is a way you can make $50 quickly if an emergency arises. Do you have anything valuable to sell on eBay? Can you work a few extra hours at your job or pick up a shift from someone? Can you set aside an emergency fund for unexpected expenses?
