Don’t become a victim of learned
helplessness. If you become a victim of learned
helplessness, then you’ll believe that you won’t ever be able to succeed
because the world is pitted against you. People who are victims of learned
helplessness believe that they’ll never get anywhere because they haven’t had
good results in the past. If you want to be able to deal with adversity, then
you have to learn to embrace new opportunities instead of thinking that you’re
destined to fail.
- A person who has fallen victim to learned helplessness will believe something like, “Well, I haven’t gotten the last five jobs I interviewed for, so this must mean that I’ll just never be able to find a job. There must be something wrong with me, or finding jobs is all about networking anyway, so I might as well not even bother if I keep failing.”
- A person who wants to take control of her destiny will work on thinking positively and feeling like she has the power to change the situation. She’ll believe something like, “Even though the last five interviews haven’t worked out for me, I should be encouraged by the fact that hiring managers are interested in me at all. If I just keep sending out my resume and going on interviews, I know I’ll find a great job eventually.”
Get a mentor you trust. Another way to deal with adversity is to find a mentor you
trust who can help you deal with the more difficult challenges in life. Having
a person who has been through what you’re going through or who has found a way
to succeed in your field can help you feel more confident about continuing to
go after what you want. Talking to another person can give you more advice and
perspective on your situation, and can also help you feel encouraged.
- Plus, it’s likely your mentor has dealt with his or her fair share of challenges and setbacks. Hearing about these will help you want to keep going, too.
Maintain a strong social network. In addition to having a mentor you trust, having a strong
social network can help you stay strong during a time of great need. Having
friends to rely on, family members who love and care about you, and being part
of a strong community of people who really care for each other can help you
feel less alone and like you are capable of dealing with the challenges ahead
of you. If you feel like you have to deal with this situation alone, then you
are much more likely to feel hopeless and like you have to give up.
- Having someone to talk to about your setbacks, even if that person can’t always give you the best advice, can help you feel less alone. Just having a person to talk to can make you feel like there’s hope for the future.
- Talking to other people who care for you about your struggles can also help you relieve stress; you’ll be much more likely to feel discouraged if you have to bottle up all of your feelings inside.
Don’t forget to take care of
yourself. If you’re going through a serious
period of hardship, then the case may be that the last thing you want to do is
to eat three meals a day, shower regularly, or get enough rest. However, if you
want to keep going, then this is exactly what you have to do to stay mentally
and physically strong. It will be much easier to want to give up if you feel
tired, are eating poorly, or if you haven’t showered in a few days.
- Making an effort to eat three healthy, balanced meals that contain lean proteins, fruits or veggies, and healthy carbs can make you feel more energized and ready to tackle any challenges that come your way.
- Try to sleep for at least 7-8 hours a night and to go to bed and wake up around the same time. This will help you feel capable of dealing with whatever the world throws at you.
Be a person of action. If you want to be able to not give up, then you can’t sit
around complaining about all of your failures, moping in bed, or just making
excuses for all of the reasons you failed. You have to be a person of action
and to make a game plan for succeeding; this means putting yourself out there,
applying for jobs, networking, going on dates, or doing whatever it is you have
to do to reach your goals. If you’re sitting around bemoaning all of the
failure you’ve faced and feeling sorry for yourself, then good things won’t
happen to you.
- Of course, we all need to sit back, throw a personal pity party, and feel sorry for ourselves from time to time. However, you can’t let these feelings get you into a funk that keeps you from trying again.
- First, sit down and make a written plan for success. Having these items listed out will make you feel much more capable of getting what you want.
Build your confidence. It’s true, your confidence may be shaken if you’ve spent so
many years at the same low-paying job where you don’t feel valued, but you
can’t let that keep you from feeling worthy of something better. You should
make an effort to embrace all of the things you love about yourself, to address
the flaws that you can change, and to feel happy about being the person who you
are. Though building true confidence takes a long time, the sooner you start,
the sooner you’ll be able to deal with challenges.
- Work on erasing self-doubt and feeling like you can achieve anything you put your mind to. If you’re the first person to doubt yourself, then anyone you meet will follow you.
- Hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself instead of putting you down.
- Fake it until you make it with positive body language. Stand tall, don’t slouch, and don’t cross your arms over your chest. Look happy and open to what the world may bring.
Grow stronger from failure. You may have heard the optimistic expression, “Whatever
doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” However, strictly speaking, this
expression isn’t always true. In fact, if you experience a lot of failure and
let yourself be truly discouraged by it, then you’ll actually be getting
yourself beat down, instead of developing a thicker skin. You need to learn to
embrace failure and to look at what you can learn from it, instead of letting
it make you feel like you’re unworthy of success.
- Every time you fail, don’t just let it make you feel worse, but sit down and think about what you’ve learned from it. Think about what you could have done differently to succeed the next time around.
- Be proud of yourself for failing. Many people never put themselves out there to begin with. Sure, it’s no fun to fail, but it’s the only way to get what you want.
Don’t let your past dictate your
future. You may think that, because you’ve
failed so many times in the past, and have had no luck with selling your first
novel, dating people, or losing weight, that you’ll never be able to amount to
anything. However, many successful people come from humble beginnings, were
raised in poverty, or had the door slammed in their faces again and again and
again. Let your past empower you and drive you to succeed, instead of having it
make you think you’re not worthy.
- Sure, you may feel like all of your jobs so far have only lowered yourself worth and made you feel inadequate. However, this doesn’t mean your future jobs have to be like that. In fact, they should inspire you to find something better for yourself.
- If you think you’re only destined to repeat the past, then you’ll be sabotaging yourself. For example, if you’re in a great relationship but all you can think of is all of your failed relationships, then yeah, you’re going to mess this one up, too, because you don’t think you deserve any better.
