Sometimes we can't help but get stuck living inside
of a box, doing the same thing over and over, worrying about what other people
will think of us and our actions. If you want to break out of that box, and
learn to live life to its fullest.
Give less value to what other people
think of you. Other people are outside your
control, and if you can't get past worrying about your own image, you can't
live freely. You can't please everyone, so thinking that you can, will leave
you alienated and disappointed.
- Don't let other people's views become the words you mold yourself around. Once you get to the point where you are saying to yourself and everyone else that you're just trying to be what everyone else wants, you have reached a point where you cannot be free.
- Detach yourself from "toxic" people in your life. These are the people who try to tie you down through manipulation, negativity, and other forms of control. Better still, learn how to disarm such people by learning non-violent communication techniques and standing your ground through being less reactive and more responsive and assertive; you have the power within you to remain free of such people and to live free from their harmful ways. Good friends will help you find your balance.
Stop focusing on the bad. Be free by focusing on what can be done, rather than on
what cannot. Shift your attention to what you can do to make things better for
yourself and for others. By doing this, you'll find greater freedom to live the
life you want to live.
- Remind yourself of your successes instead of your failures. If work or school isn't going as well as it might, focus on your family, your relationships, or how awesome you've become at shooting three-pointers. Focus on the positive.
- Watch your language. Avoid negative statements like "I can't." Language is powerful, both in convincing yourself and in convincing others. By changing these negative phrases to ones focused on what can be done, you will free yourself from inaction and procrastination. Instead, say, "I've got to do this."
Be honest. Lies create a tangled web of deceit that keeps you from
being free. Learn to recognize the lies you tell yourself and others. Being
sincere and truthful allows you to connect better with people you can trust
because they can identify with your vulnerability.
- Lies are one form of reacting defensively; for many of us, it is natural to feel a need to defend ourselves in a situation of conflict.
- Lying during a conflict may seem like a good, defensive way of getting someone to leave you alone but it binds you even more tightly to that person because you've made things less clear and have evaded your real needs rather than stood up for yourself.
- By responding with loving kindness, you regain your freedom in relationships because you learn to acknowledge the pain, hurt and other negative feelings of others without escalating the conflict and still make it clear that you retain your power to make your own decisions and choices.
