Feeling truly good about yourself means loving the person you are,
inside and out. It takes hard work and some major adjustments to learn to
accept yourself and to address the unhappiness in your life. If you want to
feel good about yourself, it starts with identifying the thoughts, emotions,
and behaviors that might block you from feeling good about yourself. After
that, you can work on creating a lifestyle that makes you feel valuable, loved,
and fulfilled. If you want to know how to feel good about yourself, follow a
few simple steps to be on your way.
Embrace your
individuality. Try to avoid
comparing yourself to others and embrace your individuality. Comparing yourself
to others will not make you feel good about yourself because you are different
than any other person. There's no one out there just like you, who has grown up
with your experiences and who has your talents.
- If you try to compare yourself to other people, it will not affect your self esteem well, because you can always find someone who is stronger, smarter, or prettier than you. Instead, focus on being the person that you want to become, not like your neighbor, the "cool" people in your school, your job, or your neighborhood. Once you define your own version of success, you'll be able to achieve it.
- You may feel like everyone around you has it better than you do. However, you probably forget all of your amazing strengths. You may not even realize all of the things you have going for you and that someone else wants to be more like you.
Develop your
confidence. Confidence is
the key to feeling good about yourself and to loving the person you are and
will become. You can make an effort to feel confident in who you are and what
you can achieve, although it might take time. You have to remind yourself that
you're an amazing person and that you deserve to be confident in yourself. If
you think you're worth it, then you are.
- To look more confident, perk up your body language. Stand taller, have better posture, and look straight ahead instead of at the ground. Try to sit still or stand with an open demeanor to give off a more positive, approachable vibe.
- Find something to really excel at or work on excelling in something you already love. If you are already great at something, focus on how amazing you are for being able to do those things. Try to focus on your abilities and how capable you are. You'll feel better about yourself if you're good at something that you love.
- When you're entering an unknown situation, focus on the best thing that can possibly happen instead of what can go wrong.
Take pride in your strengths. Every person has something that they can feel
good about. Take the time to sit down and make a list of all of the things you
love about yourself. Force yourself to sit there until you fill a whole page.
Dig deep to find things that really make you an amazing person. Think of
qualities like your compassion, your sense of humor, your trustworthy
character, or your work ethic. The longer and more sincere the list, the
better.
- Some qualities to describe yourself might be loving, studious, hardworking, friendly, strong, clever, sharp, easygoing, and fun. You can also add things about your physical appearance that you like as well, as long as they are sincerely important to you. You want to cover every aspect of you in this list. You should also add to the list any time you think of something else you're proud of.
- Keep this list nearby and consult it often to continue feeling good. You can even fold it up and put it in your wallet.
- If you are having trouble making this list yourself, consult people who know you well. Ask your friends or coworkers to describe your strengths; some of them might surprise you!
Expect to have
bad days. Sometimes you
just have to live with the bad feelings and understand that they pass. People
think that, to feel good about themselves, they have to feel amazing 100% of
the time. If you're having a bad day, especially if it's after a string of
great days, then avoid putting yourself down about it and know that this too
will pass.
- If you feel extremely sad, be sure to talk someone who cares about you and who will listen to your problems. If you have felt very sad for at least half a year, consult a medical professional.
- When you're in a bad mood, your body also knows it. Think about which part of your body gets out of whack when you're crabby or upset. If you recognize your body's signals, you may be able to figure out what's bothering you and make yourself feel better.
Work on
developing a positive attitude.
This can be difficult. It may take time to be positive all the time, but you
can make it more a part of your life. Developing a positive attitude is a
decision you have to make yourself, and stick to every day. If you have a more
positive attitude, then you'll feel better about yourself, as well as your
future prospects and all that you can accomplish.
- You can work on recognizing when your thoughts are overly negative and turn them around to lead yourself to a healthier mindset. For every negative thought that crosses your mind, fight it with at least two or three positive thoughts. For example, if you think, "I look so tired today," you can say, "But my hair looks pretty great and I still have an amazing smile." Be compassionate toward yourself. Talk to yourself like you would the person/animal you most love when you're hurting inside.
- On a deeper level, if you think something like, "I am just so awkward in social situations," you should say, "But I usually know how to make people laugh and people seem really comfortable around me."
- Work at it every day. Even if your attitude goes unnoticed, practice your positive attitude. You never know how large a difference it can make, and practice will make it easier to do.
- Practice talking about yourself positively to your friends. Talk about something you've accomplished or something you're excited about. You'll find that your optimism is contagious, and that you'll feel better about yourself just by talking about it out loud. If your friends do not like talking about the good parts of your life, consider if these people truly make you happy and feel good about yourself.
Know that you
have a lot to offer. Even if you feel
like no one needs you or that you are not helpful, this is rarely the case.
Talk to your loved ones to see how needed you really are and how much people
appreciate you. Let your family members or friends know how you're feeling, and
they'll come back at you with a list of all of the amazing qualities that you
posses. Talk to your friends about your problems and they'll tell you
underestimate yourself and that they need you in their lives.
- The more you remember that you're a worthy person who anyone is lucky to know, the sooner you'll realize that you have so much to offer. And if you feel valued, then you'll be on your way to feeling better about yourself.
- Even if you are currently in a difficult phase of life, you still have the potential to expand upon some interests and become really passionate or skilled at something. You might even offer to ability to share your passion with others. These are all valid reasons to feel good about yourself. Don't forget the compassionate self dialogue during these times.
Make a list of
all of the things you're thankful for.
You may feel bad about yourself because you feel like you have absolutely
nothing to be happy about. Feeling bad about yourself has to do with your
perception of who you are and with how you feel about your surroundings. Start
making a gratitude list and write down all of the things you're thankful for,
from your health to your siblings to the lovely weather outside. This will help
you see that you can feel good because there is so much joy, luck, and hope all
around you.
- Treat this list like the list of qualities you love about yourself. Fill a whole page and read it over often, adding to it whenever you think of something else.
- If it is difficult for you to find things to be grateful for, turn this into a positive exercise. Think of what you are mad about, and push yourself to find 2 good things about every bad situation. For example, you can counter “I’m mad that the dog barking woke me and the baby up at 5am today.” with “1. I spent some bonding time with my son this morning, calming him down; every moment I have with my son is special; and 2. I got to hear the birds chirp as the sun rose.”
- If you are still struggling, ask others what they are thankful for. You might have something in common.
Focus less on
your appearance. Everyone is
beautiful in their own special way. It's fine to want to see what's changing
and to daydream about who you're becoming. But your self-esteem should rely
mostly upon your personal qualities and character; not your physical
appearance. If you want to feel good about yourself, then your main priority
should be who you are; and if it’s related, then what you look like. But do
make exercise a regular part of your life. You'll feel stronger physically and
emotionally.
- Limit your prep time. If you spend all your time wishing you looked perfect, then you will focus on less positive, constructive areas of your life. Determine how much time you will spend doing your hair and makeup and looking in the mirror before you go out. Find a routine that fits into that amount of time. If you spend any more time than that on yourself, you are bound to find flaws where none exist.
- You have much more self worth aside from your appearance. You should take strength and confidence from your actions and achievements instead of your appearance. For example, you have an amazing day where you get commended for a project you have spent weeks working on. When you get home, you finally get a chance to look in the mirror and realize you had mascara smeared under your eye. Despite the fact that you had a smudge on your face, you still accomplished something great and you should be confident in your abilities.
- If people compliment you based on your looks, feel free to take the compliment. However, ignore negative remarks, and recognize that compliments your personality are more significant.
Pay less
attention to what others think.
Care more about what you think of yourself instead of what others think of you.
Focus on your own uplifting, positive thoughts about yourself instead of on others
opinions about you. At the end of the day, you are the only person who has to
live with himself or herself, so your opinion should matter the most.
- People who insult others usually do it to make themselves feel more powerful. This means that they are probably just as insecure as you are. They are the ones who lack confidence, so try to avoid the comments and avoid jabbing back with an insult. The best thing you can do is to live your life exactly how you want to live it without looking back.
- This may be easier said than done. Instead of being in denial about caring, ask yourself what is at the heart of wanting to please other people. Ask yourself if the people who hurt you are worth impressing. Soon enough, you'll see that they are only an obstacle to your happiness, not a means toward it.
- Know whom to trust, and when. For example, most people will say that they trust their own mother the most. However, few people would blindly trust their mother to, say, fly an airplane or rig the lottery. If you want to pay attention to what others think, pick your trusted advisors wisely.
