Negative thoughts and feelings have
a way of popping up at inconvenient times and distracting us from the good
things in life. Before long, our minds begin to slide toward negativity more
often than not, and dwelling on dark emotions becomes a bad habit that's hard
to kick. But, like breaking any other habit, it requires retraining yourself to
think in a different way
When we are stressed we often have a
million and one things happening at once and a chattering mind is one of the
last things we need. Therefore, it’s very important to be able to spend some
time to relax, put things in context and to let go.
Be in the moment. When your thoughts are spinning out of control, what are
you normally thinking about? Chances are, you're dwelling on something that
happened in the past - even if it just happened last week - or you're obsessing
over something that has yet to happen. The key to stopping those thoughts in
their tracks is to be aware of the present moment. Noticing what's happening
right now necessarily yanks your thoughts out of those dark corners. This is
because very often the thoughts stop just by focusing on them because they are
suddenly exposed to scrutiny and your inner desires that are creating the
thought process is seen in a different light. It sounds so simple, but as you
probably know, it's not always easy to do. Here are a few ways to become more
aware of what's happening right this second:
- If you look at a calming image, the mind can relax and let go all on its own, but it only happens when you stop trying and expecting it to happen. This is a good primary method to relax and calm the mind.
Engage with the world around you. Part of the downside of dwelling on negative memories or
emotions is that you're forced to be a little distant from what's going on
outside your head. When you consciously decide that you're going to come out of
your shell and engage with the world, you leave less room in your mind for
those niggling thoughts and feelings that normally sap your mental energy. By
judging yourself on the theme of those thoughts it can actually make the
problem harder to deal with. You might have been thinking about how much you
don't like someone then feel guilty or angry for it. This then trains the mind
to become habitual or ingrained as a cause and effect process and it becomes
harder in future to be in control. Here are a few ways to start engaging on a
basic level:
- Be a better listener during conversations. Take time to really absorb what the other person is telling you, instead of half-listening while you worry about other things. Ask questions, share advice, and generally be a good conversationalist.
- Consider volunteering or otherwise getting involved in your community. You'll meet new people and be exposed to interesting and important topics that may just outweigh the thoughts and feelings you're trying to let go.
- Look down at your body. Pay attention to where you're sitting. Be attuned to your immediate surroundings. Your reality is where you are right now. It's impossible to go back to yesterday, and it's impossible to predict what will happen tomorrow. Keep your thoughts engaged with your physical presence in the current moment.
- Say something mentally or out loud. The physical act of making a sound will pull your thoughts to the present. Say "This is the present," or "I am here." Repeat it until your thoughts are pulled to the present.
- Go outside. Changing your immediate environment can help your thoughts move back to the present as your senses are occupied with expanding to take in more data. Observe the way is the world is moving around you, each being living in his or her own present. Focus on small changes, like a bird alighting or a leaf whirling on the sidewalk.
Be less self conscious. Self-negativity in its wide scope of forms is also the
instigator of negative thoughts and feelings for many people. When you're self
conscious, it's as though you have a second reel running through your head,
distracting you no matter what else you're doing. For example, when you're
talking to someone, you're thinking about how you look, or what impression
you're having, instead of fully participating in the conversation. Curbing self
consciousness is essential when it comes to letting go of negative thoughts and
feelings so you can participate fully in life.
- Practice being more present by doing activities that completely absorb you and make you feel confident in your abilities. For example, if you're good at baking, savor the experience of sifting the dry ingredients, mixing the batter, filling the cake pan, smelling the aroma of your creation as it fills the kitchen, taking the first bite when it's ready.
- When you experience present moment awareness, explore it and remember how it feels, as well as how you got there and recreate it as often as possible. Remember that the only thing keeping you from feeling that freedom in other situations is your own mind, and put aside self-criticism from your daily thought process.
