Pain of emotions is an inevitable part of life. Knowing that
doesn’t seem to make it any easier. Whether the pain is associated with a
trauma, a loss, or a disappointment, you must develop a strategy to lessen and
manage the struggle. By taking action, excavating your emotions and seeking
professional help, you will learn to cope with emotional pain. We will be
talking about how to excavate your emotions here.
Here are the few
observed tips;
Be aware of your emotional triggers.
You are likely aware of those things that occur that cause you to have an
emotional response. These are emotional triggers. Take the time to think about
the things that trigger your emotional responses. It is time to demonstrate
your best personal introspection skills (accessing your own thoughts and
feelings) to get to the heart of the matter.
- See things as they occur in a slower speed. This will allow you to diffuse your triggers and discern if a threat is real, and respond in a reasonable way.
- Challenge your thoughts and feelings about getting nervous in certain situations. If you get nervous when you go to a party where your friends are the only attendees, remind yourself that these people are your friends and they accept you for who you are.
- The use of positive self-talk will help diffuse your nerves. For example, if the pain makes you feel anxious or stressed tell yourself, “I am completely safe and I can relax and let go of the pain and tension in my body."
Write in a journal if you don’t mind.
Write in it every morning or evening or once a week to check in with yourself
and to decompress. Also, you can write in it when a thought enters your mind.
Find what works for you.
- Make a list of your troublesome thoughts, feelings and behaviors. This will help you understand the connection between your thoughts, feelings and behaviors and the pain that you feel. Then, you can see the areas of your life that are suffering and need attention.
- Ask yourself if you feel depressed, anxious, angry, stressed or lonely. Does it seem that you have little control in your life?
- Are you having problems with personal relationships? Do you have a hard time expressing your emotions and feelings?
Cry. If you don’t feel like crying, don’t
worry. Everyone has a different way of expressing sadness. Holding back
emotions is not healthy and can contribute to cardiovascular and mental health
disorders.
- Find a safe place and get comfortable. If your emotions come to the surface allow the tears to flow. The health benefits to crying include:
- Releasing toxins out of your body.
- Improving your vision by lubricating the eye.
- Improving mood better than any antidepressant.
- Relieving stress.
- Enhancing communication because it can show what words cannot express.
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Write a letter, but do not send it.
Include all the significant emotional experiences you experienced associated
with this pain. Include the good things and the bad. If there is a person to
thank, write about that. Express the anger you might be feeling. End your
letter by saying, "I no longer need the pain that I am feeling so I am
giving it back to _____. Good-bye."
Find a soothing routine. During periods of
extreme emotional pain, you may be so consumed that you forget to take care of
yourself. Make sure that you are in a daily routine that helps you feel better.
This means getting a healthy amount of sleep, eating healthy food even if you
don’t feel hungry, and making time for at least 30 minutes of exercise each
day.
- You may not think that eating and sleeping regularly can make a difference when you’re in the throes of emotional pain, but it definitely can. A healthier you is stronger and can manage a struggle more effectively.
- Avoid things that tend to increase your stress levels. That could mean traffic jams, loud concerts, extra responsibilities at work, or spending time with a dramatic friend. Although you can’t get rid of all the stress you’re feeling, you can make an effort to minimize it.
Allow yourself to grieve. If you are dealing
with the emotional pain of losing someone you love, then give yourself the time
you need to grieve and come to terms with your feelings. You won’t be able to
stop missing the person if you don’t give yourself the time to slow down,
express your emotions, and grieve the loss of the person who is no longer
around.
- Every individual experiences the grief process in an entirely different way.
- If you are in pain and feel the need to be alone for a while, make sure your friends and family members are aware. If not, they may worry about you. Consider saying something like, “I am struggling, but I am working through it. I hope you understand that it is going to take some time, and I’m not sure how long. I guess I am the only one who can figure that out. I just need some time to be alone for a while.”
- If you spend too much time by yourself and are feeling lonely as a result, make sure to spend some time with others.
Manage your anxiety, stress or depression.
Emotional pain can increase feelings of anxiety, stress and depression. Counter
these feelings in healthy ways by taking part in relaxation exercises, physical
exercise or yoga. A combination of relaxation, stress management, cognitive
restructuring and exercise is the best way to improve your mood.
- When you are relaxed your muscles loosen, blood pressure and heart rate drop, and your breathing slows and deepens, which can help with emotional pain.
- Participating in physical exercise will release endorphins into your bloodstream, which lessen pain and increase positive feelings.
Open your heart to new people.
Make an effort to be friendlier to new people. Extend invitations to get
together with your acquaintances. Though you may be shy, you can work on
getting to know people little by little. Smile, be friendly and outgoing toward
the people you meet.
- Start by asking a few casual questions. Tell a fun fact or two about yourself, or make some funny observations. If you make more of an effort, you’ll be on your way to having more friends and feeling less pain.
- You may have more in common with people than you think. Once you spend time with them, you’ll see that you might really enjoy their company.
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