List your positive attributes and reflect on them daily.
This can be difficult for someone who habitually thinks negatively of
themselves, but try to find one positive thing about yourself to add to the
list once a week. At the end of each day, reflect on your entire list.
- Make your list very specific. Instead of using general adjectives to describe yourself, try listing specific actions or attributes that describe who you are and what you do.
- For example, instead of simply saying "I am generous," you can write "Any time I know that a friend is struggling, I give her a small, thoughtful gift to show that I care. This makes me generous."
- As you read and reflect on your list, remember that each item on the list, however insignificant it may seem, is a reason that you are worthy of respect and love.
Give yourself the gift of time. Do not feel guilty
for spending time thinking about and reflecting on yourself and your own life.
It is important to give yourself the time and permission for self-love. You
will likely find that by doing so, you are more able to spend quality time
helping others.
Celebrate and reward yourself.
This is the fun part of self-love: rewarding yourself! If you have had a
significant accomplishment, celebrate it with a nice dinner at your favorite
fancy restaurant. Think of all of the hard work you do every day, and find a
reason to reward yourself with something nice. Buy yourself the new book or
video game you’ve had your eye on. Take a long shower or bubble bath. Go on a
solo fishing trip or get a massage.
Develop a plan for dealing with setbacks or negativity.
Notice what tends to throw you off from your current path of self-love, and
decide how to deal with those things. Realize that you cannot control the words
and actions of others, but you can control your responses and reactions.
- You may notice that negative comments from one particular person, such as your mom or your boss, set you off into a spiral of negativity. If this happens consistently, try to identify why this is.
- Decide how you will deal with negative thoughts you do have. You may need to give yourself a time-out to meditate or breathe. Acknowledge your feelings and reframe your negative reaction with positive reminders of your self-worth.
Visit a therapist. Exploring negative
thoughts and identifying triggers for your emotions can bring up feelings or
memories from your past that are difficult to deal with.
- A therapist who is experienced with addressing painful pasts can help you navigate through the experience of recovery without causing you to relive painful experiences.
- A therapist’s office can be a great place to learn to handle your negative thoughts productively and realize your positive qualities.
Repeat positive affirmations daily.
Find some positive thoughts that help you feel better, and repeat them daily.
This may seem awkward or cheesy at first, but the habit will cause the positive
thoughts to sink in, and you will begin to believe them, even if you don’t at
first.
- A good positive affirmation to promote self-love is: “I am a whole, worthy individual, and I respect, trust, and love myself.”
- If you find that the affirmations are not helping on their own, try visiting a therapist and pursuing a multi-level treatment that includes other approaches as well.
Do things that make you feel good.
Think of feeling good physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Do what it
takes to feel good in multiple ways; it may require exercise, meditation,
dancing and keeping a positivity journal. Find a routine that feels good and
stick to it.
Reflect on the effects of practicing self-love. When
you spend time loving and rewarding yourself, you will likely see benefits in
other areas of your life. Notice whether you have more energy, or if you are
able to be more present with others. You might start to feel like you are more
in charge of the choices you make, and that you have more control of your life.
Motivational
