Figure out your priorities. Being successful means not just having some vague
aspirations that you'd like to accomplish. Sort out your priorities and decide
what is most important to you. Knowing what your priorities are will help you
set out goals to achieve the things that will make you feel happy and
successful. Research has shown that you’re more likely to work toward something
if it’s very meaningful to you.
- You need to decide which are the most important thing you want to accomplish: are you looking to have a family by a certain time? Do you want to be a published author? Do you want to be a leading expert in a medical field?
- Make a list of the most important things you want to accomplish, with the most important at the top. As you make plans with the aim of accomplishing these goals, you'll keep revisiting this list, making revisions as things change and crossing things off as you accomplish goals.
- Remember, just because these are your priorities now doesn't mean they won't change. That's okay. Life often takes you down roads you don't expect, but if you at least have an idea what you're trying to work towards, you'll be better able to accomplish what you want and to change that desire if you need to.
Find your "element." This is the thing that drives you that you love to
do. You may employ this element in your work, or you may enjoy it as a hobby.
The important thing is that it is meaningful to how you define “success.”
- This can be anything: writing, drawing, dancing, computer science, cooking, archaeology. The point is that cultivating this "element" in yourself will lead to you feeling more fulfilled and happier.
- Remember, you may use this skill in an unexpected way, as long as you remain open to the possibility of using it. For example: you might train to be a classical dancer, but instead of performing on stage, you use that skill to teach low-income kids how to dance. You're using that "element" but in a way you might never have imagined. That's success.
- Practice that skill. Even if you are good at writing, you're never going to be great unless you read and write constantly. If you don't write for work, carve out some time before or after (before tends to be better, because you aren't as exhausted) to write. The same goes for any other skill.
Imagine your “best possible self.” This exercise can help you decide how to define success in
your own life and will help you when you formulate goals to get you there.
Identifying your “best possible self” is a two-step process: first you
visualize yourself in the future, and then you consider what characteristics
will help you get to that visualized self.
- To begin, imagine a time in your future when you are your best, most successful version of yourself. This can look like anything. Focus on what is most important and meaningful to you, rather than defining success by someone else’s standards.
- Imagine the details of your best future self. Think and define yourself positively. What does your life look like? How do you feel and behave? For example, if your best possible self is a musician, imagine what your life is like. Are you a mega star? A successful indie artist? Are you always on the road or do you play mostly in your community?
- Write down the details of your visualization. Imagine the characteristics that you used to attain your “best possible self.” For example, if you are a successful musician, you are very skilled at your instrument. You probably also know how to network with people, promote yourself, persist despite challenges, and express yourself creatively. Write down as many skills, traits, and characteristics as you can think of.
- Now, consider which of these things you already have. Be honest and compassionate with yourself. What do you already know? Then, consider which characteristics you can learn or develop. What can you learn, and how?
- Identify ways to build the characteristics you need. For example, if you’re shy, you might consider social skills or assertiveness training to help you become comfortable promoting yourself to others. If you want to be a musician but aren’t skilled at an instrument, you might take lessons.
Ask for help. No matter how self-made someone seems, they have always had
lots of different kinds of help: for example, perhaps their teachers gave them
access to knowledge, their relatives helped cultivate their interests, and
their family helped them go to college.
- Reach out to people, especially people who can help further your goals. This doesn't necessarily have to be self-serving. For example: if you're looking to become an archeologist, you could help out for free at your local museum, which can give you good references and help them.
- Be certain that you, too, help others when the opportunity arises. The more you cultivate an atmosphere of giving, the more help will come your way.
