When you are in the process of hiring someone or when you meet someone new, it can be difficult to determine if they are trustworthy ad you might actually be in need of them for anything as fast s possible, so there is no time to study them for years. Though you may have a good first impression of the person, first impressions can often be wrong or ill informed. To best determine if the person is worth trusting in a professional or personal role, you should observe her behavior and obtain proof of her character in the form of references, referrals, and testimonials.
Watch her eyes. Many people believe that you can tell if someone is lying
by the direction of where their eyes go: up to the right for the truth, up to
the left for a lie. Unfortunately, studies have found no evidence to support
this. Maintaining eye contact also does not mean the person is telling the
truth; liars don't necessarily avert their gazes. However, you can keep an eye
on the person's pupils: people who aren't telling the truth tend to have
increased pupil size, which indicates tension and concentration.
- Both liars and trustworthy people will likely look away when you ask them a difficult question, because thinking of a response requires concentration. However, people who are lying may only briefly look away, whereas people who are telling the truth may take more time to compose their answer.
- Although eye contact isn't the sole determiner of trustworthiness, a person who makes good eye contact is more likely to be a good communicator, and may be more comfortable feeling vulnerable.
Note her body language. A big part of telling if people are trustworthy is to study
their body language and how they present themselves to others. However, body
language must be taken with a grain of salt; most of these language cues
indicate tension and nervousness, which might indicate lying or might just
indicate that the person feels uncomfortable.
- Most trustworthy individuals will display open body language, with their hands at their sides and their body turned towards you. Note if the person crosses her arms, slouches or turns her body away from you when you are speaking to her. These could be signs that she is not sure of herself and may not be as engaged and committed to you or potentially hiding something.
- If her body language appears tense, be wary. She might simply be nervous, but research shows that people are more physically tense when they're lying.
- People who are lying may press their lips together when you ask a sensitive question. They may play with their hair, groom their nails, or gesture toward themselves.
Observe whether she upholds
commitments. Often, trustworthy individuals will
show up to work or to a date on time to show that they value everyone else’s
time. If the person often shows up late without calling to let you know she is
running late, or fails to show up at all, these may be signs that she is not
someone you can trust to uphold her commitments.
- As well, if she often cancels plans or changes meeting times without letting others know, she may not value other people’s time as much as she should and may have an issue with time management. In a work setting, such behavior is not only untrustworthy, it is also unprofessional. In a casual setting, between friends, flaking out on plans can show that the person does not place value on your time and may not be someone you can count on.
Pay attention to how he responds to
difficult or challenging questions.
If you are talking to the person during a job interview, you may want to pose a
difficult or challenging question and take note of how he responds. The
questions do not have to be aggressive or misleading. Instead, focus on
questions that are open-ended but also require critical thinking and analysis.
You should always give the person an opportunity to answer your questions
openly and honestly.
- For example, you may ask what he believes his greatest challenge was in his previous job or you may ask if he struggled with any skills or expectations in his previous role. The person may take some time to answer, but note if he changes the subject or avoids answering the question. This may be an indication that he is hiding something about his previous job or he is not willing to engage in critical thinking about his previous role.
