Identify your values. Think about the things that are important to you that influence the way you act and ultimately the person you are. These are values. They are a guiding force in decision making. Identifying your values can be a challenge, but it is worth the effort.
- To identify your values, think about the times in your life when you were the happiest, most proud, most fulfilled and satisfied. Make a list and determine what you valued about those situations. Perhaps you value the creativity, adventure, loyalty and hard work each of these situations provided. Maybe you realize that you value your family the most. These will be a driving force in everything you do.
- If you want to live a simple peaceful life, then you might value serenity, resourcefulness, stability, and health.
Align your activities with your
values. Participate in activities that are
congruent with your values and desire to simplify your life. You will know if
your activities are in line with your values by the way you feel. You will feel
satisfied and content. When it comes to activities that conflict with your
values, the opposite is true. You will have a strong feeling that something is
wrong and you are unhappy.
- Decline offers to events that conflict with your intent to live peacefully.
- Make a decision to live a value-driven life. It will take discipline and focus, which can be enhanced by things such as physical exercise.
Formulate a plan and commit to it. Following a problem solving model will give you structure
for creating change. You have identified your desire to live a simple and
peaceful life and now you must determine clear objectives, implement them, make
adjustments as needed and monitor your progress.
- Determine clear objectives. One objective may be that you set a schedule and keep a log of your de-cluttering efforts. Self-monitoring leads to real change.
- Pick a start date for your plan and start. Don’t delay the inevitable. Start as soon as possible.
- Recognize your growth and reward yourself. If you successfully meet your daily, weekly or monthly objectives, celebrate your accomplishments. Perhaps you could go to a movie, attend a sporting event or plant a tree in honor of someone you admire. Positive reinforcement will motivate you to continue with your plan.
- If a strategy isn’t working for you, then stop using it. Find an alternative and plug it into your plan. Don’t look at it as a failure; instead look at it as a correction in the course toward your goal.
- Your new behaviors will build over time and become second nature to you. As your behavior becomes more natural, you can lessen your strict adherence to your plan and still maintain positive outcomes.
Practice living in the present
moment. Don’t occupy your thoughts with too
much about the past or too much about the future. A wandering mind is an
unhappy mind. Simplifying your thoughts involves quieting your mind, and
staying focused on what you are doing at that moment.
- Use visualization exercises to imagine yourself in a simple, peaceful stress-free environment. This will help quiet your mind.
- Engage in conversation or exercise. These are two of the most effective ways to stay in the present moment.
Write in a gratitude journal. The benefits of keeping a gratitude journal include
improved sleep, improved health and increased happiness – all factors that
create peace in your life. There are things to consider to obtain the highest
level of benefit:
- Start by deciding to become happier and more grateful.
- Provide the details about the things you are grateful for rather than stating simple phrases.
- Gear your gratitude toward people rather than things.
- Consider how your life would be different by removing something you care about. This will inspire you to think of additional aspects of your gratitude.
- Remember to include unexpected surprises.
- Don’t lose your gumption to write by forcing yourself to write every day. Perhaps once or twice a week would be comfortable routine.
Practice empathy and compassion to
create peace. The ability to appreciate someone
else’s struggle is an important skill to develop. It comes easy to some people,
and not to others. You know how you would like to be treated, so use that as a
guide when trying to forgive someone.
- If you want to practice empathy and compassion start by reaching out to a family member or friend and offer to help her in some way. Perhaps you could run an errand for her, or do something simple like unload groceries, or water her plants. The point of this exercise is to provide to others the feelings and actions you appreciate when someone does the same for you.
Switch from resentful to grateful to
improve relationships. Much of a
person’s internal and external unrest stems from conflicts with others. As they
say, holding resentment toward someone is like drinking poison expecting the
other person to be harmed. Thoughts of gratitude will help improve your mood
and thus, lessen feelings of resentment. When you feel resentful stop yourself
and ask the following questions:
- Do I feel good when I think about this person?
- Are my negative feelings helping me or hurting me?
- Do my thoughts aimed at retribution toward this person have any actual impact on the other person?
- The obvious answers to the questions are no, no and no. Next, respond with gratitude-filled statements: I feel good that I am letting go of my resentment for this person; My focus on moving forward is helping me feel better; I am focused on improving my life rather than destroying someone else’s.
