We
recently talked about constructive criticism and destructive criticism. And
here comes the respond to all kind of criticism you might experience.
Use humor to soften the mood. Studies show that humor can effectively help deflect
criticism and improve social relations. A well-timed joke can derail an
argumentative exchange and increase your rapport with the other person.
- Joke about something that's present to you both and will distract from the hostility, such as the weather or something funny about the room.
- Make sure the joke isn't at the other person's expense!
Try fogging. Fogging is an assertive communication technique that allows
you to give a little ground without giving too much. You can use this to let
the other person know that you're willing to take an honest look at yourself
and not block their criticism out completely, even if you disagree with it
overall.
- Example: If the person says you're always late to meetings, you can reply with yes, I was late to the meeting yesterday.
Admit fault. You can use "negative assertions" if the person
has a genuine point about your behavior and you want to let them know that you
agree with the specific criticism, without allowing the criticism to define you
as a person. Admitting fault doesn't have to reflect on you as a person,
especially if you recognize the behavior is negative and have a desire to
change.
- Example: If you are frequently late to meetings, you can say yes, I've been late to a lot of meetings recently. I'm sorry about that. I'll try to be on time from now on.
Ask open-ended questions. One way to make sure people recognize your integrity and
grace is to ask them if they have any other criticisms you could address
together. This shows your willingness to be honest with yourself as well as
your lack of need to be defensive, because you accept yourself even if you have
critics, because you can see them as opportunities for improvement
Remove yourself from the situation. Sometimes, the most graceful method of dealing with hostile
criticism is to leave the room. This will allow the other person to cool down
and protect yourself from danger. Defending yourself by avoiding challenges can
be just as productive and healthy as facing them, under the right
circumstances.
