Everyone feels
stressed at some point. Occasionally, you may feel a higher level of stress
than is common for you. Anxiety or a depression related to high level of
emotional stress is actually quite normal. What sets standard levels of stress
apart from harmful levels is the way they affect your daily life and the
methods you use to cope with them. By clearly identifying the ways in which you
exhibit emotional stress and using techniques to cope with the sources (work,
school, relationships, etc.), you can deal with the emotional stress present in
your life.
Identify the source of your emotional stress.
Emotional stress is akin to the feeling of being on your “last straw” or “last
nerve” for an extended period of time. This feeling can present in the
varieties of different ways discussed elsewhere in this article. The first step
to coping with emotional stress is identifying the source of the stress.
- Our work and/or school responsibilities and interpersonal relationships are some of the most common sources of taxing emotional states.
- Try writing down things that you feel stressed about. Rank them from 0 (no stress) to 3 (serious stress).
- If you have a lot of sources of stress but they’re ranked fairly low, or only one or two areas of highly ranked stress, your stress may feel more manageable on your own. If you have many sources of stress that are ranked highly, you should consider seeking professional help, as coping with extreme levels of stress can very challenging on your own.
Accept what you cannot change.
It can be very challenging to accept that bad things are happening. However,
this simple shift relieves you of the pressure of feeling as if things should
be different when they are not. This can apply to anything from the weather to
someone’s behavior. Obviously, some things are easier to accept than others,
but for whatever you cannot control, try to adopt an attitude of acceptance.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness
has been shown to help lower stress and anxiety levels. Mindfulness can expand
the hippocampus, the same area shrunk by stress and depression. It can also
help rewire your brain’s fear responses, resulting in less stress. Mindfulness
has even been shown to help battle the effects of depression. Here are two
mindfulness exercises to help you get started.
- The “finding silver linings” exercise. This exercise has been shown to reduce depressive symptoms and can help you build resilience to stress. Begin by listing 5 things that make you happy or that you value.
- Focus on a source of stress for you right now. Write down a few sentences about the situation and how it made you feel. Try to show yourself compassion as you write, not judging yourself for your feelings. For example: “I’m feeling stressed because my partner doesn’t talk to me as much anymore.”
- Now try to find three little “silver linings” to the situation. This step takes a lot of practice and a willingness to be open, but it can help you. For example, “This situation is an opportunity for me to practice acceptance for my partner” or “This situation reminds me how much I value communication.” It can be hard to see the bright side, especially of an upsetting situation, but give it a go. Try this for 10 minutes a day for 3 weeks.
- The “self-compassion break.” We are sometimes a source of our own stress, particularly if we’re judging ourselves for perceived mistakes or failings. Learning to take a quick 5-minute self-compassion break every day can help you break this habit of judging yourself harshly, which can help reduce your stress levels. Begin by selecting a situation that is causing you stress, such as “I’m afraid that I’m not a good mother to my son because I have to work so much.”
- Notice how the stress feels in your body when you think about this situation. What sensations do you experience? You might experience a rapid heartbeat, a fluttery stomach, nausea, etc.
- Say gently to yourself, “This is a moment of stress.” It’s important to acknowledge when we’re in pain, rather than try to ignore or repress it.
- Remind yourself, “Stress is something everyone struggles with.” It can help to remind yourself of your common humanity: you aren’t alone, and it is natural to experience stress in our lives.
- Place your hands over your heart, or wrap your arms around your body to give yourself a hug. Gently say, “May I show myself kindness” or “May I accept myself.” You can say any phrase that seems meaningful to you, as long as it is compassionate and positive.
- Repeat this at least once a day, but you can do it whenever you’re having a moment of stress.
Identify a support system. The
trusted ear of a family member, friend, or even a mental health professional
can help you feel better when you express your emotions about stress. Sometimes
these individuals can offer potentially valuable feedback. Even a sympathetic
and caring presence will ensure that you do not feel alone with your stress.
- A study with cancer patients found that the greater amount of social support a patient reported, the less they reported mood disturbance.
- It is important that your support system be comprised of people who will truly support you. Find those who will listen to your concerns and fears without being judgmental, angry, or trying to “fix” something that cannot be changed.
Exercise regularly. Emotional stress often feels like a
lack of control over your life, and maintaining an exercise routine is a great
way to take back some of that control. Exercising also provides an outlet for
some of the stressful energy, and it helps the body produce pleasurable
endorphins when you feel accomplished after a good workout. Though fatigue may
be one of your stress symptoms, you should still try your hardest to exercise
regularly.
- A heightened amount of physical activity may also help with stress-related sleep disturbances if you’re experiencing them as part of your symptoms.
Solve smaller problems. Another
great way to help yourself feel like you’re regaining control is to focus on a
number of smaller problems you’re confronting. This allows you to shift your
focus from larger issues while also finding resolutions to smaller ones. You
may even begin feeling like the larger problems are more manageable with some
smaller ones behind you.
- This also means setting realistic goals at work, school, and home. You can’t mitigate stress while still overloading yourself with it.
- Setting smaller, realistic goals can mean tackling a specific homework assignment at school as opposed to worrying about your grade for the entire semester.
- At work, you might set a daily to-do list for certain parts of a project rather allowing the entire project to daunt you.
Eat a well-balanced diet. Though
you may find it difficult if a lack of appetite is one of your symptoms, a
well-balanced diet is always a crucial part of feeling physically and mentally
healthy. If fatigue and lethargy are some of your stress symptoms, then eating
better will help provide you with daily energy as well.
Participate in things you enjoy.
Even while emotionally stressed, we all still take joy in hobbies, crafts, or
other personal activities. Try to make more time for the things that make you
happy. This can be anything from sports with friends to spending time with a
great book.
- If you can’t think of a single activity to fit this step, then your stressful situation may have developed into an actual depression. In this case, your physician or a mental health professional may be able to help.
Change your environment. Many of
the things leading to your emotional distress may stem from the things you
encounter on a daily basis. If the daily news stresses you out or the same
commute to work every day, then try changing those things in your daily
environment. Isolate and avoid as many of these daily stressors as you can and
try your hardest to accept that you cannot change the others.
Work to resolve interpersonal conflicts.
Ongoing conflicts with those close to you are some of the prime sources of
emotional stress. Working to resolve these conflicts wherever possible is a
huge step toward mitigating emotional distress.
- When dealing with potentially tense interactions during these conflicts, express your feelings assertively without letting the person take advantage of you, but always do so respectfully as well.
- Remember that negotiation and compromise is the best way to defuse interpersonal conflict in a productive way.
Engage in meditation or prayer.
Meditation is a form of guided thought wherein you focus typically on one
specific action, such as breathing (or stretching in the case of yoga). If you
are spiritual or religious, you may find a similar form of calm and peace in
prayer.
- Deep, relaxed breathing by itself is a great way to combat stress.
- Relaxation training is another form of meditation. Find a quiet, comfortable position and flex each muscle in your body one muscle group at a time. Start with your toes and work your way up.
