Write about your fears. Writing about your fears may help you to start to
understand them and make a better decision as a result. Start by writing about
the decision you need to make. Describe or list everything that you are worried
about regarding this decision. Allow yourself to vent about these fears without
judging yourself for having them.
- For example, you might start your journal by asking yourself, “What is the decision that I need to make and what am I afraid might happen if I make the wrong choice?”
Identify the worst case scenario. Once you have written about the decision you need to make
and why you have fear regarding that decision, take it a step further. Try to
identify the worst case scenario for each possible choice. Pushing your
decision to the limits of what could go wrong if all goes wrong may make the
process less frightening.
- For example, if you need to decide between staying full time at your job or taking a part-time job in order to spend more time with your kids, think about what the worst case scenario of each decision would be.
- If you chose to keep the full time job, the worst case scenario might be that you miss out on important moments in your children’s development and that your children resent you for this when they are older.
- If you choose to keep the part time job, the worst case scenario might be that you might not be able to pay the bills each month.
- Decide whether this worst-case scenario is actually likely to happen. It’s easy for us to “catastrophize,” or spin things out to the worst possible thing that can happen, without taking the time to think. Examine the worst scenario you’ve proposed, and then consider what would have to happen to get you there. Is this likely?
Consider whether the decision you
make will be permanent. Once you
have thought about everything that could go wrong, think about whether the
decision is reversible. Most decisions are reversible, so you can take comfort
in knowing that if you hate your decision, you can always make a change to fix
the situation later on.
- For example, say you decide to take a part-time job to spend more time with your kids. If you end up having trouble paying the bills, you can reverse the decision by looking for a full time job.
Talk to a friend or family member. Don’t feel like you have to make a tough decision all by
yourself. Enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member to help you or
at least listen to your concerns. Share the details about the decision as well
as your fears about what could go wrong. It may make you feel better to just
vocalize your fears about the decision and your friend or family member may have
some great advice and/or reassuring words for you.
- You may also consider talking to someone who is removed from the situation and who will have a neutral opinion. A therapist can often be a helpful source for this type of perspective.
- You can even consider searching online for others who have experienced a similar situation. If you were trying to decide between full-time work and part-time work plus more time with your kids, you could post your problem on a parenting forum online. You will likely hear from people who have had to make similar decisions as well as some people who will tell you what they would do in your situation.
